Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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