i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
