"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize