yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
