I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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