I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
