I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
