love makes seman taste better
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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