You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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