Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
