I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
