There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
this boner is exhausting
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
