I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
