you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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