garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
