Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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