But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
