all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
