If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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