North Korea, Best Korea!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
