not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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