Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
