You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
