y did u give ur computer a hand job?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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