I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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