I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
