oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
