Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
