pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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