sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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