You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
