She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
