Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
