just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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