When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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