I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Houston, we have a squirter
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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