Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize