That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
