How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
