you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
