The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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