I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
