If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
