I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
