This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
