Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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