You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
