its not stalking. its research.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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