She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
