meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
