Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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