I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
