he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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