i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
