I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize