her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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