guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
