ya dads aren't the best wingmen
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
