I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
