i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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