you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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